Working For the Man By Day, Sticking It To the Rough Draft By Night

5 mins read

Marvin Gaye’s classic song, “What’s Going On” plays on loop as the backdrop to my words.

A deep, meditative sigh followed by 8 minutes and 46 seconds of silence is in order before I officially begin.

So much has happened in these first six months of 2020 with unexpected celebrity deaths, a pandemic, unemployment skyrocketing, parents becoming teachers, cities being placed on lockdown, cities burning down to the ground, rioting plus looting equals police shooting with police brutality at an all-time high, black lives not mattering to anyone but black lives, racists no longer hiding their racism and global protests seeking justice for the unjust.

For those of you who did not believe that racism still existed – you can no longer hide under a rock and play pretend. Racism is fully alive, kicking and stronger than ever. Major companies are either scrambling to demonstrate just how much they support the BLM movement (yet all of them were mum back in 2014 when the movement made headlines after the unrest in Ferguson, MO) or showing their true colors when receipts are revealed that they have donated towards Trump’s campaign. Celebrities are either using their social media platforms to highlight the cause or going about their day (drowning in their complacency) as if the revolution is not being televised. America in general, are either fighting for change, complaining about the way people are fighting for change or simply exposing themselves as true racist human beings for a change.

Activism
All lives matter
Antifa
Black lives matter
Black trans lives matter
Blue lives matter
Defund the police
Dismantling white supremacy
Hate crimes
I can’t breathe
Justice for…
Microaggressions
Peaceful protesting
Police brutality
Police reform
Say her name
Social justice
Systematic racism
Voter Suppression
White allies
White privilege
White supremacy

As you can see, the list of phrases and words that has defined the last 30 days is growing exponentially along with my stress levels. I can guarantee therapists the world over are working overtime (especially within the black community) trying to calm the mentality of the masses. Everybody’s functioning with a fragile state-of-mind that could turn against them at any given time.

The word of the month for June is none other than: OVERWHELMED.

I am overwhelmed with the downward spiral the state of the world has taken
(although I’m not the least bit surprised)
.
I am overwhelmed with the voices of my community going unheard
(again, not really surprised)
.
I am overwhelmed with the lack of care and support from people who I thought considered me as their equal
(surprised? I am not)
.
I am overwhelmed with the blatant betrayal of the many hidden truths within our history that was never taught to my peers and I
(very surprised, even though I shouldn’t be)
.
I am overwhelmed with so many emotions that instead of perfecting my craft – I’m doing everything else BUT write.

Not because I don’t want to write or create, but because there is so much commotion going on inside my mind making it difficult to sort out and
formulate cohesive sentences.

I feel like I should be allowed to give myself a break, but at the same time I feel like I’ve been doing that (more times than I’d like to admit) since January. Of course in usual fashion I will get a sudden burst of creative energy by week’s end, so let’s hope the end of the week comes fast because the inspiration for the book I’ve been working on — off and on for over a year — is plentiful.

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